Top Ten Reasons Babies are better than the iPad
- Babies eventually grow up to be better than their fathers.
- Babies get cuter as they get older. Think those fingerprints on your screen will get any cuter?
- Babies don’t have a daily purchase limit.
- After you get a baby, most people are satisfied for awhile and don’t want to upgrade for a long time.
- Babies make other people smile when they see them. iPads just make people ask, “What’s that?”
- iPads look dorky in strollers.
- Putting an iPad on your back makes you look like a Borg.
- Babies don’t care if you use Flash, Objective-C, or Lua. Babies just want you to talk to them in any language.
- Babies don’t require you to dress in black turtlenecks, khakis, or attend MacWorld for any reason.
- Babies are a LOT more fun to make than standing in line to buy an iPad
Top Ten Reasons iPads are better than Babies
- iPads never require college educations. The closest you get is $4.99 for the Encyclopedia app.
- You can shut the iPad off at 10pm and turn it back on at 7am every day, without social services knocking at your door.
- When the iPad is hungry, you can plug it in and leave it alone for two hours.
- One word: Diapers.
- The iPad will never go on a first date or drive your car. Ever. Not even with iPhoneOS 4.0.
- You’ll never hear the iPad asking where it came from.
- The iPad will never walk in on you having sex.
- Trying to swipe a baby will land you in jail.
- Best game with a baby: Peek-a-boo. Which gets boring pretty fast. Solitaire, on the other hand…
- You can’t make menstruation jokes about babies.